Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
