his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You're like the curious george of whores
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
