This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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