hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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