went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
