You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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