..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize