I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
FUCK WHALES
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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