you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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