Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
no, he came in my armpit
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
