Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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