Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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