I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
worst night to have a conscience
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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