My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
