Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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