nut hugger
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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