I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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