I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
