Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
