my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
