I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
