But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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