can u get pink eye on your cock?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She bit a glass in half.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
