if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
