he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
