Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
