Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
