Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
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