Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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