It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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