I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm like, not good at living.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
