Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
