i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
