well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
