spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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