She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize