Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
