I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
