somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
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Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize