So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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