I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also, beer. Big fan.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
