U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't turn off my feet"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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