I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
