dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You were trust falling into bushes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
