he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
