He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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