Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
