I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
