I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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