Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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