I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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