My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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