I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
