I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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