I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
