i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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