why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
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she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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