Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?

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  (412): Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option? (412): I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be? http://tfl.nu/cvc8
  Replies (82) Good night (2958) Bad night (685)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone

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  (480): There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone http://tfl.nu/wpdv
  Replies (38) Good night (783) Bad night (1894)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?

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  (407): Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume? http://tfl.nu/7evx
  Replies (10) Good night (3047) Bad night (815)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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  (613): You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon.. http://tfl.nu/gnh9
  Replies (16) Good night (835) Bad night (5292)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...

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  (703): something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas... http://tfl.nu/emnc
  Replies (18) Good night (1024) Bad night (7577)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.

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  (724): Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted. http://tfl.nu/tz2e
  Replies (41) Good night (17136) Bad night (2592)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

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  (260): A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him http://tfl.nu/k8ud
  Replies (25) Good night (1762) Bad night (6680)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor

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  (443): i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor http://tfl.nu/enmw
  Replies (4) Good night (2463) Bad night (1330)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us

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  (779): Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us http://tfl.nu/jk9n
  Replies (2) Good night (2318) Bad night (871)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?

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  (207): Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation? http://tfl.nu/353y
  Replies (3) Good night (2187) Bad night (1444)
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  (220): View more from

  Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.

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  (220): Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me. http://tfl.nu/ml84
  Replies (14) Good night (2633) Bad night (1158)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.

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  (910): Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook. http://tfl.nu/qwbp
  Replies (11) Good night (1390) Bad night (956)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?

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  (361): Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/ihmp
  Replies (5) Good night (2118) Bad night (994)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.

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  (563): I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers. http://tfl.nu/w57w
  Replies (7) Good night (2166) Bad night (689)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I think my nap took me to another dimension

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  (425): I think my nap took me to another dimension http://tfl.nu/36h1
  Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (312)

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