Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?

  (510): View more from California

  I hope so

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  (415): I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die? (510): I hope so http://tfl.nu/tt2l
  Replies (41) Good night (2110) Bad night (5145)
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  (760): View more from California

  my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...

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  (760): my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg... http://tfl.nu/gr75
  Replies (33) Good night (7986) Bad night (818)
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  (213): View more from California

  she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies

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  (213): she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies http://tfl.nu/m8ne
  Replies (33) Good night (2524) Bad night (4825)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...

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  (614): she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean... http://tfl.nu/ja4j
  Replies (23) Good night (757) Bad night (4012)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...

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  (319): just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa... http://tfl.nu/k3oe
  Replies (29) Good night (5356) Bad night (938)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

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  (519): Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical. http://tfl.nu/sqyk
  Replies (12) Good night (6595) Bad night (1880)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Glad to hear you raised your standards

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  (720): Not even desperate vagina wants small cock. (303): Glad to hear you raised your standards http://tfl.nu/lulg
  Replies (8) Good night (2908) Bad night (804)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.

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  (519): sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass. http://tfl.nu/vgdt
  Replies (5) Good night (2503) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.

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  (810): She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself. http://tfl.nu/zfk0
  Replies (10) Good night (1029) Bad night (2660)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything

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  (813): no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything http://tfl.nu/ryp8
  Replies (12) Good night (1519) Bad night (712)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.

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  (712): I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray. http://tfl.nu/8ri0
  Replies (5) Good night (1857) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself

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  (773): I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself http://tfl.nu/rzza
  Replies (1) Good night (832) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.

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  (801): When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw. http://tfl.nu/4mnb
  Replies (9) Good night (1066) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there

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  (806): Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there http://tfl.nu/qxkk
  Replies (5) Good night (673) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it

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  (954): My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it http://tfl.nu/o7iy
  Replies (9) Good night (1030) Bad night (244)

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