is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?