Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.