The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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